Love.

Love is a word that is thrown around a hell of a lot these days. People use it to exaggerate, dramatise and amplify a situation. They use it in everyday speech and use it often. That’s fine. But what happened to real adjectives? Why do we use such a limited selection of our vocabulary and use the simplest yet most powerful word we can think of to express ourselves and, in doing so, completely belittle its meaning?

What’s more, we have such beautiful words in our language that sound so perfect yet we choose not to use them. ‘Treasure’, ‘cherish, ‘admire’, ‘respect’  – just a few more basic words and all so simple yet hold so much more impact in speech. Our choice in words is I would say a fundamental factor towards how people regard us. A more informed vocabulary makes one actually listen, enables you to convey your meaning in the exact way it is intended, instead of some mild and vague shadow of your emotion.

Perhaps I’m looking too much into this yet I remember reading once, ‘if the words you spoke were written all over your skin from head to toe, would you still be beautiful?’ An interesting point. I can only imagine a body decorated with the word ‘love’ in all shapes, sizes and types of scrawl would be sweet but… tacky. However surely the word that we hold back from our lover until the feeling overwhelms us and we whisper ‘I love you’ should be held in higher regard consistently, not just in that moment?

I write this as I am bored of basic language. I’m tired of walking along a street and hearing snippets of others’ conversations and they speak with no meaning. They speak with no care, grammatical correctness, civility or regard for their audience, and this the soundtrack that passers by have to listen to. For some, it is nothing as they are the same, and for others, I may be correct in saying it gets their back up a little…

I want people to express themselves. I don’t want people to hold back. I want to feel confident that if I express the purity of my own thoughts and feelings verbally, I will not be greeted with nothing but a shocked expression or awkwardness. This saddens me. Why are people put off so much by someone exposing themselves through the power of words? Words are our best tool. They are beauty and they are magical. They alight mystery and possess the power to seduce. They can cut and they can lift up. They enable us to feel another person’s emotion without us having had to be present at the event.

Let us not be frightened of the reality of this power. Let us use it. And let our encounter with language be not a dalliance, but be forever.

7 Replies to “Love.”

  1. Ever since the dawn of the telephone, I suspect people have slowly slipped into a state of perpetual avoidance.

    I think back to when I was just a wee kid in school, learning about the sacrament of reconciliation. We had a choice between a face-to-face confession and one behind a screen. Even then, I chose the screen because I had no guts to face a priest in, well, his face. It was only the beginning of a move toward anti-social behavior.

    Nowadays, some people practically live with a computer attached to their hand. Others, like me, turn to a computer for some sort of connection to the world beyond my immediate reach, once in a while, maybe once a day, maybe once a week.

    Because of all of this, because of racial and sexual conflicts, because of crime waves dramatized on TV and in other fictional forms, people are very “thin-skinned” and apprehensive about being honest. And, for some strange reason, things we don’t intentionally want to say come out in the ugliest way. And, some just seem bent to be catty or mean.

    In regards to your profile statements, I would not be keen on taking the meds, either. They can be addictive and cause other health problems. They are made to control your emotional outbursts but don’t work for everyone. It’s a quick fix and poor substitute for sorting out the root of our problems which need not be labeled mental disorders. Your disorders are merely emotional knots caused by the trauma of an unstable and faulty family structure. We are all like plants, in a way, and need both good roots and good fertilizer. Those who have it thrive while others wither or grow crooked. Yet, even a plant that seems lost can often be revived and grow straight, again.

    .

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  2. Wherever I may be of service to brighten someone’s day or shed some new light on a subject. I try. Sometimes, what I have to say is not received well and my fray a few nerves. But, I stumble upon what I do and say what comes to mind, to heart.

    If you need a sounding board, you need only ask/find me. Though I cannot guarantee I am the soundest of sounding boards. Ha.

    From personal experience, I came to a conclusion early in life that I did not have a disorder but, rather, was troubled by a knot I am still unraveling. What I suffer from cannot be resolved with a pill or seven pills. Nor do I trust any therapist, any paid stranger, can do any more for me than a friend could do. What I know I lack is friendship. And, the friendships I’ve had in the past were scarce and shallow. Well, all but one or two which I miss now and then.

    Going without any meds might be a tougher road ahead, but it’s a road that will hopefully strengthen you with experience and clear thinking/self-control (even if you feel out of control).

    But, if you think a temporary emotional buffer will help you get over the breakdowns and function as needed, then take the medication and do what you can to leave it behind when you reach a higher plateau of productivity. If the meds become constant escape/relief, they are not solving anything and have become a new problem (like illegal drugs). If the meds alter your biological functions but do nothing to help you mentally/emotionally, you’ll see them for their flaws. [I’d rather live without the side effects and shortcomings.]

    There is such tension between the world of our minds/hearts and the world that seems to tell us what is right among other human beings and all the lifeforms surrounding them. There is a world inside of us that is complex enough; and then we are poked and prodded by outside forces that seem to lack any understanding of that world within. Science rushes to stamp a label and form an equation for everything. But, part of what makes science science is the never-ending curiosity that is the mystery of life.

    That was a mouthful, ay? 🙂 I have to cut myself off before I forget where I am going.

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    1. I love reading your comments! Utterly perfect and you really did read my mind. I can relate to so much of what you’ve said. I’m starting to feel the same way myself – I’ve been put on and off various medications and truth be told, I have no idea if they’re working or not or if it’s simply just me admitting to myself the complexity and depth of my emotions and experiences and learning as I go. I know I want to be better, and to succeed in my endeavours I need to be better, yet I’m also realising that I can love my flaws and the characteristics I possess that make me different – I’m realising I can use them to benefit me. At the same time I don’t know if this new state of relaxation and learning how to be mindful of my emotions is coming from the effect given off by my medications.. I guess it’s something I need to be brave with and investigate.

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      1. I occasionally read minds. It pays to open up one’s ears and receive thoughts from others, rather than merely think with your own thoughts and concerns. But, this can also be a curse that adds weight to one’s already loaded mind.

        I’d like to discuss the medication situation in more detail, but I am reluctant to do so publicly. It has been a rather personal experience.

        But, you’ll know if they are working. The problem is expecting the medication to fix everything. It may be a trick of the salesman to convince you the pill will be some wondrous thing that makes life smiley again. At least, that’s what commercials show. But, all any medication really does is suppress something long enough, hopefully, for you to relieve yourself of the problem. Aspirin takes away pains like headaches, but it loses its potency if you keep agitating your mind. You still need to relax enough to let the knot in your head relieve itself. The aspirin just puts a hand on your forehead.

        In short, by putting up with my pains, rather than medicating them, I have slowed my progress in life down but also learned to tolerate more rather than seek a quick exit. Putting up with misery, not necessarily becoming a slave to it, I’ve thickened my skin and actually grown stronger than I look. Buuuut…I still have weaknesses to conquer/sort out.

        Do you need to be better? Better how? What defines better? It may be different for you and me. And, we might search a lifetime to fully grasp or feel we ARE better. Or, maybe, we are fine as we are and just a puzzle piece figuring out where we fit.

        Medication might be relaxing you–like alcohol–enough to think differently. It’s a forced restraint or meditation, in a way. But, some of it comes from within, your decision.

        We both need to be more brave, I suspect. It would be nice to have a strong friend at our side, whether that is a purely spiritual companion or one we can hug.

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  3. One other thing to keep in mind about medication: If you have any history of foul liver situations in your family gene pool, regularly consumed medication can be even more hazardous. It tends to build up in the liver. Which is why some pill takers are given meds that are supposed to thin blood to pass these obstructions. But, the blood thinners add yet another hazard.

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    1. I never intended to take medication in the first place to be honest. I had all that you have just pointed out in my brain and thought that if I required medication, then there would be something wrong with me. I used to, and still do, find completely natural forms of medication and therapy in order to relieve myself and find some sort of hope and safe place to take shelter from all that my mind concocted. Yet, as the months went by, I felt myself becoming less and less energised and motivated to do this and ended up falling into a pit of.. nothing I guess. I just didn’t feel anything at all. If I can say anything for medication it is the fact that it has enabled me to find that motivation again. I’ve never felt incredibly happy or high from any of them, just perhaps a bit more normal (whatever ‘normal’ is). But, I don’t think it will do anything else for me, which is why I’m debating stopping them and trying to arm myself with the mental tools to combat conflicts and triggers that lead to episodes.

      It’s a long journey isn’t it? And not one I expect to be over any time soon, if ever. I feel as though I’m on the road to recovery though every time I’ve said that in the past it’s been followed by an episode, so I do say that with my fingers crossed. I’m holding onto the moments where I feel happy with my differences. I feel blessed that I am capable of thinking about things so deeply and have more insight into others and situations. After all, from experience, it’s better to feel and to learn how to cope with those feelings than feel nothing at all.

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